Three new entries for our Vicar of Bray category ...
The BBC reports that 'South Africa's justice minister has demanded an explanation after 270 miners were
charged with the murder of their colleagues who were shot by police.
'State prosecutors charged the miners under the apartheid-era "common purpose"
doctrine.'
As you are not dead, like your friends, we will put in you in prison anyway. And ...
The news that Transport Secretary Justine Greening might have to be reshuffled out of her job for opposing a ban on a third runway at Heathrow as (strategist) George Osborne thinks it is time for a(nother) government U-turn. The fact that opposition to a third runway was in both parties' manifestos, in the coalition agreement and is current government policy is presumably no bar to a U-turn.
That was, of course, then and this, of course, is now. But you deserve a bonus item: the announcement about the English GCSE results. How come the all-important C/D grade boundary appeared to have moved between January and June?
It was Gove meddling said teachers ... A pause while OfQual looked at the results, no doubt scrabbling around for some way to absolve the Minister. Ah yes, let's retrofit. The Chief Executive then stood up to announce that it was not the June exams that were wrong but the January exams which were 'generous'. Problem solved: no re-marking necessary and the January students feeling relieved.
Hollow laughter from teachers; Sir Humphrey proud of his own.
Friday 31 August 2012
Thursday 30 August 2012
Can you turn the sheet of paper round?
It has been a week of forms and requests for information on forms. One particular delight came from a well-known organisation in response to a request for grant.
Please will we supply data on our visitors in the following age groups: 17-18, 19-25, 26-59 and 60+
Now why did we not think of collecting our data in such a logical format? For some silly reason, our surveys collect it in groups of 14 and under, 15-24, 25-34, 35-44, 45-54, 55-64, 65+. It won't take us long to change it for next year but let's hope no one asks for it in any other, less useful, groupings.
Gender: they seemed to know that there should only be a choice of two but this is not something we ask in surveys and stupidly don't record at the point of sale as visitors are not terribly keen on telling us the gender of every member of the family. The same is true for the ethnicity and disability questions they expect us to answer: we have estimates but do not ask everyone. And actually we do not distinguish how many of the Irish are Irish or Irish (travellers).
And then there are the socio-economic groups. They use the government's NS-SEC groupings: Higher managerial and profession, Intermediate, Lower supervisory and technical, Routine, Lower managerial, Small employers and own account workers, Semi-routine occupations and Long-term unemployed/never worked.
I know that we are a bit out of date but the standard grouping used for marketing is the familiar NRS grouping: A: Higher managerial, B Intermediate managerial, C1 Supervisory, clerical and junior managerial, C2 Skilled manual workers, D Other manual workers, E Pensioners and the unemployed - or more complicated ones like ACORN or Sagacity groups. So we need one to fill in their forms and another one for our marketing. Thanks Guys.
Oh, and can we have that data on a landscape sheet instead of portrait? Sorry, no we cannot as you have asked for the data to be submitted on an online form which we cannot print out and cannot be turned around.
Oh the joys of good, reliable, accurate data for decision-making.
Please will we supply data on our visitors in the following age groups: 17-18, 19-25, 26-59 and 60+
Now why did we not think of collecting our data in such a logical format? For some silly reason, our surveys collect it in groups of 14 and under, 15-24, 25-34, 35-44, 45-54, 55-64, 65+. It won't take us long to change it for next year but let's hope no one asks for it in any other, less useful, groupings.
Gender: they seemed to know that there should only be a choice of two but this is not something we ask in surveys and stupidly don't record at the point of sale as visitors are not terribly keen on telling us the gender of every member of the family. The same is true for the ethnicity and disability questions they expect us to answer: we have estimates but do not ask everyone. And actually we do not distinguish how many of the Irish are Irish or Irish (travellers).
And then there are the socio-economic groups. They use the government's NS-SEC groupings: Higher managerial and profession, Intermediate, Lower supervisory and technical, Routine, Lower managerial, Small employers and own account workers, Semi-routine occupations and Long-term unemployed/never worked.
I know that we are a bit out of date but the standard grouping used for marketing is the familiar NRS grouping: A: Higher managerial, B Intermediate managerial, C1 Supervisory, clerical and junior managerial, C2 Skilled manual workers, D Other manual workers, E Pensioners and the unemployed - or more complicated ones like ACORN or Sagacity groups. So we need one to fill in their forms and another one for our marketing. Thanks Guys.
Oh, and can we have that data on a landscape sheet instead of portrait? Sorry, no we cannot as you have asked for the data to be submitted on an online form which we cannot print out and cannot be turned around.
Oh the joys of good, reliable, accurate data for decision-making.
Tuesday 21 August 2012
Let's have some courage and conviction
OK, so you say we have not been very positive lately. Here is a really uplifting thought from Nick Poole, the chief executive of the Collections Trust.
Writing on his website, he commented on the connection with the past made in the Olympics opening ceremony. It showed that Britain truly understood the links between a proud heritage and the fabric of daily life, he said. 'Our culture is playful, inclusive and grandiose precisely because we celebrate our past as the story of our present. That is the unique thing that museums do, in every community, in every village, town and city for people of every age.'
He goes on to argue that politicians and funders still required evidence about value and impact, but also needed courage and conviction. 'Without intrinsic belief in the value of a strong museum sector, no amount of measurement will ever make up for a nagging lack of conviction.' It was time to celebrate everything that was great about Britain’s museums and galleries. 'From our venues, which inspire, educate and amaze millions of people very year, to our collections and the rich, creative online resources we provide, our dazzling cultural offer is the envy of nations worldwide.'
Well said Nick: less of the tedious measurement statistics and bit more courage and conviction.
Writing on his website, he commented on the connection with the past made in the Olympics opening ceremony. It showed that Britain truly understood the links between a proud heritage and the fabric of daily life, he said. 'Our culture is playful, inclusive and grandiose precisely because we celebrate our past as the story of our present. That is the unique thing that museums do, in every community, in every village, town and city for people of every age.'
He goes on to argue that politicians and funders still required evidence about value and impact, but also needed courage and conviction. 'Without intrinsic belief in the value of a strong museum sector, no amount of measurement will ever make up for a nagging lack of conviction.' It was time to celebrate everything that was great about Britain’s museums and galleries. 'From our venues, which inspire, educate and amaze millions of people very year, to our collections and the rich, creative online resources we provide, our dazzling cultural offer is the envy of nations worldwide.'
Well said Nick: less of the tedious measurement statistics and bit more courage and conviction.
Takeover Day
Kids in Museums is encouraging museums to register their interest for this year’s Takeover Day on 23 November, when museums and galleries invite young people to take on meaningful roles in the running of their institutions.
Oh joy! I am so glad you have included the word meaningful this year. Let me think ... you can be in charge of health and safety for the day; and for signing contracts; and how about doing some staff appraisals; or answering some customer complaints? And could you let me have a draft of the corporate plan before the end of the day?
What do you mean those are not the sort of meaningful roles you meant?
Oh joy! I am so glad you have included the word meaningful this year. Let me think ... you can be in charge of health and safety for the day; and for signing contracts; and how about doing some staff appraisals; or answering some customer complaints? And could you let me have a draft of the corporate plan before the end of the day?
What do you mean those are not the sort of meaningful roles you meant?
Oh I do love to waste time
We all know that bidding for money has a fairly random success rate; although not as bad as bidding for a contract where succeeding in one in three would be par for the course. The Directory of Social Change recently estimated that 'ineligible applications made to the largest trusts in 2010 equated to seven years of wasted effort'. It is so good to know that we have this money to burn.
Oh and praise for the Joseph Rowntree Trust who insist that bids must not cover more than four sides of paper.
Oh and praise for the Joseph Rowntree Trust who insist that bids must not cover more than four sides of paper.
Support success or reward failure?
Arts Council England (ACE) has announced a new museums and schools programme designed to increase the number of educational visits by schools to museums (yippee!). The £3.6m programme, funded by the Department for Education, is not apparently open to applications. Instead 10 regional museums will be commissioned to work with clusters of local schools. The funding will go to areas identified as having low levels of cultural engagement.
Another conundrum: if there is a low level of cultural engagement then museums are usually accused of having failed in their task. If this is the case, then why is the new money going to museums in these areas? Do we not usually reinforce success?
Is it facile to ask exactly what the process for choosing the areas will be?
Another conundrum: if there is a low level of cultural engagement then museums are usually accused of having failed in their task. If this is the case, then why is the new money going to museums in these areas? Do we not usually reinforce success?
Is it facile to ask exactly what the process for choosing the areas will be?
Signs of tourism development ...
Under a heading 'Boost to Olympics Tourism Legacy', Jeremy Hunt has announced that he is planning a £2 million pilot scheme to create new county boundary signs to showcase the region’s best features. It will be piloted in Cornwall, Cumbria, Derbyshire, Devon, Norfolk and North Yorkshire.
So that's around £300,000 per county ... we don't know whether to be amazed at the cost or dumb-struck by the genius of such a novel idea which is bound to see tourists flooding in: or more likely knowing they are there when they arrive. It is good to know we have a minister who really knows how to churn out the big ideas. Coem to think of it, Cornwall already has a sign saying It's all right, you have left Devon or something similar.
And talking of signs, he also wants to see improvements to the traditional tourist brown signs, ensuring that the process for allocating them is more consistent and transparent, focuses on genuine tourist attractions rather than on local services, and supports the growth agenda.' A review of existing guidelines is said to be underway.
How many times is it that we have reviewed brown signs? I remember one when Portillo was a cub minister. OK, so I have been around too long.
So that's around £300,000 per county ... we don't know whether to be amazed at the cost or dumb-struck by the genius of such a novel idea which is bound to see tourists flooding in: or more likely knowing they are there when they arrive. It is good to know we have a minister who really knows how to churn out the big ideas. Coem to think of it, Cornwall already has a sign saying It's all right, you have left Devon or something similar.
And talking of signs, he also wants to see improvements to the traditional tourist brown signs, ensuring that the process for allocating them is more consistent and transparent, focuses on genuine tourist attractions rather than on local services, and supports the growth agenda.' A review of existing guidelines is said to be underway.
How many times is it that we have reviewed brown signs? I remember one when Portillo was a cub minister. OK, so I have been around too long.
Tuesday 14 August 2012
Saying it as you mean it
A wonderful sentence from Lucy Mangan in the Guardian magazine this week. She points out that A Level results are due to be published this week and bemoans the usual ill-informed fuss about Oxbridge candidates 'all being from independent schools' that will be bound to emerge, conveniently filling newspaper pages during the silly season after the Olympics. She says:
The fact that '... inequalities of opportunity [in education] are further encouraged by ... policy after policy stinks. And the reek will be even worse this year than ever, as free schools and assorted other ideas farted from the ever-noxious bumhole that is Michael Gove pollute the atmosphere and fog the once-shining egalitarian comprehensive system so thoroughly that it is hard to perceive even its outline any more.'
There is something wonderfully 16th or 17th century about the directness of such language. One wonders whether the PM might notice and move the orifice to some darker corner of government come September.
The fact that '... inequalities of opportunity [in education] are further encouraged by ... policy after policy stinks. And the reek will be even worse this year than ever, as free schools and assorted other ideas farted from the ever-noxious bumhole that is Michael Gove pollute the atmosphere and fog the once-shining egalitarian comprehensive system so thoroughly that it is hard to perceive even its outline any more.'
There is something wonderfully 16th or 17th century about the directness of such language. One wonders whether the PM might notice and move the orifice to some darker corner of government come September.
Wednesday 1 August 2012
Joined-up administration
Two recent examples of real joined-up thinking amused us this week.
The first was the announcement by Treasury Minister David Gauke that it is 'morally wrong' to pay tradesmen such as plumbers, builders and cleaners in cash in the hope of avoiding tax. We assume that this means that we can pay them cash as long as we, and they, are not hoping to avoid tax. It is clearly the intent that matters.
But hang on, does this not come at the same time as the banks are talking of 'phasing out' cheques? If they succeed then the only way we can pay our window cleaner or occasional lawn-mower will be to ask for their bank account details and make suitable transfers. (Oh yes, we must make it easier/cheaper for the banks to do their work, poor loves.) I think it will be easier to carry on paying them cash and adjust our intent not to avoid tax.
The second were requests for identification under the money laundering regulations and for a CRB check. Both asked for a tickertape of pieces of paper proving we were who we are but the paperchain breaks down under any sort of detailed analysis and results in sheer irritation for the 'normal' citizen'. Much of it would be relatively easy to circumvent for the evil-hearted. (Can someone explain why one has to provide the counterpart element of the Driving Licence as well as the photocard? The proof of identity elements - name, date of birth etc - are all carried on the face of the photo card. No, don't tell us, we prefer to live in blissful, confused, ignorance).
The most problematic was the 'utility bill'. Firstly, the utility bills are all in one name; my wife has no bill in her name. Secondly, we are being encouraged to manage bills online to save the planet and so I have no utility bills. Um ... I found a Council Tax bill in the end but it was more than six months old. We await Sir Humphrey's response.
The first was the announcement by Treasury Minister David Gauke that it is 'morally wrong' to pay tradesmen such as plumbers, builders and cleaners in cash in the hope of avoiding tax. We assume that this means that we can pay them cash as long as we, and they, are not hoping to avoid tax. It is clearly the intent that matters.
But hang on, does this not come at the same time as the banks are talking of 'phasing out' cheques? If they succeed then the only way we can pay our window cleaner or occasional lawn-mower will be to ask for their bank account details and make suitable transfers. (Oh yes, we must make it easier/cheaper for the banks to do their work, poor loves.) I think it will be easier to carry on paying them cash and adjust our intent not to avoid tax.
The second were requests for identification under the money laundering regulations and for a CRB check. Both asked for a tickertape of pieces of paper proving we were who we are but the paperchain breaks down under any sort of detailed analysis and results in sheer irritation for the 'normal' citizen'. Much of it would be relatively easy to circumvent for the evil-hearted. (Can someone explain why one has to provide the counterpart element of the Driving Licence as well as the photocard? The proof of identity elements - name, date of birth etc - are all carried on the face of the photo card. No, don't tell us, we prefer to live in blissful, confused, ignorance).
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